Tenets of the Square II

Whereas the Blue Square is, in fact, the ruler of the universe;

Whereas he does what he wants;

Whereas you all are a bunch of no-good, lying, scheming, nonexistent, pathetic bunch of losers who disgrace the noun "reader";

These are some more of my tenets.


Actually, I figure these will kind of be like the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, except there won't be any missing and I'll keep adding to them until I die a quick, blue death - which, according to some, may be a very long time.


4. MySpace is for teenagers who engage in debauchery and excessive alcohol consumption. It is sparsed with pathetic garage bands and people like myself and a few others who have some sanity. At times, it is necessary for the latter to engage in extreme mockery of the fools who think that the Internet is limited to MySpace and AIM. If we do not make fun of them, the only non-violent defense against this devilry, we will turn into them.

5. Things are only as "like, hard, OK?" as you make them. Apathetics will not be tolerated in The Order of the Blue Square.

6. Soccer moms do not know what they are talking about on or off the soccer field, but especially on. For example, "Don't kill my son! Wah!" may be absurd in that sending someone to war for a just cause is not tantamount to murdering him but still has some relevance in that killing and war are generally bad things, even though Frank J. may disagree. But screaming "Offsides! Offsides! Offsides!" in such a high-pitched, arrogant voice that the peace-loving, thoughtful Socrates would have trouble not strangling you has no excuse. Stupid, stupid soccer moms.

Until next time . . .

if there ever is a next time . . .

Be blue, squares.